Friend, Enemy, or Frenemy

I discovered my first frenemy in high school.  How?  Friends reported a classroom debate where my family became a part of the classroom discussion.  Classmates were discussing  current social issues. Sadly one “friend” supported how blacks were inferior… less intelligent… lazy…dirty…you know the stereotypes.  At the time, in 1972, our family was one of seven African American families living in Hancock County, Indiana.

Gathered in the bathroom at Greenfield Central High School, I listened to friends tell me about the incident.  I was sad.  They were brave. I had such a sense of betrayal.  Everything I thought about this friend melted away.

At home, I was in a safe place. As, I recounted the event to my parents, they listened.  They were not surprised. It was one event in a lifetime of events where they had experienced similar events. This was mild in comparison to others. “We warned you about ...”

That was then… this is now…

There is a vibe when we talk about someone in their absence. It lingers… it reveals itself in gestures… in looks…It is so obvious…

Mature friendships are a treasure.